Friday, March 6, 2009

Don't Loose Yourself

Assalaamu alaykum,

I know that becoming a Muslim is for most of us a very powerful, life-changing experience.
For many it feels like the first day of the new life, where past is left behind and new welcomed with an open heart and arms. Most of us are eager to learn and to grow rapidly into the deen.
We adapt new manners, new thoughts and knowledge.

Some of us change a name, get married to a stranger, change our whole network of friends and family into new one. We might move into a different neighbourhood if not a country, change a job and turn our lives upside down on every way.

We also meet a lot of expectations from others and we do put them on ourselves as well.
We have an ideal of a sister, a wife, a mother.
We also often add up little on the expectations coming from outside, and it does not make the pressure any less, that in our communities, like in many others too, surface is kept shining even it would be all rotten inside.
Sometimes we are just so excited and high with iman, that we sink into the deen so deep, that on the day we'll get sober, we have lost ourselves.

We grow and we change, and every new stage of life requires adjustments. It is natural to have to give up certain things, and to adjust into what Allah has blessed us with. We have to make choices all the time.
For a new Muslim, or for a new-found Muslim changes are evident as we try our best to follow the deen. There is nothing wrong with that.

Allah does not call us to loose our personalities, to give up the things we enjoy and to accept all that happens in this dunya just for the sake it happens, without making an effort to change it.
He has given us responsibilities and commandments but He subhanahu wa ta'ala has also given us rights and examples of enjoying the life and living it full.

Sometimes we falsely think we need to give up things we love, when in reality all we have to do is to find an alternative way to enjoy them.
We adopt the new cultures and norms of our communities and husbands forgetting that Islam is different from culture.
We fall into that very trap of culture that we often blame born Muslims guilty of.

We loose our dreams and goals and adjust to whatever we face, no matter how unsatisfying the life can be. And many times, as we loose these little bits of ourselves, we loose many joys of daily life that give us satisfaction and strenghth to do more. And too often, way too often, we loose our spirits to the point we stop asking for our rights and keep adjusting, until there is no more left of what we were.

I don't call you on barricades sisters.
I call you just to keep living.
To drink that Western coffee instead of Arabic, if you like it.
To cook from your native country once in a while, even others in your family would not fancy it.
To ask your husband to take the baby so you can go cycling in the summer, not the the highway but to a forrest path.
To go and play soccer with your boys on the playground just mums and kids go to.
To read a book you enjoy, even you did not for years because after becoming a Muslim you thought its waste of time.
To be loud and laugh if that is your nature.
To go skating and sliding.
To do the things you enjoy and don't contradict your deen.
To never let anyone put you down to the point you don't know anymore who you are.

Sometimes, little things do so much.
Don't loose yourself.


  1. Assalamu alaikum Sis,

    Very nice thought provoking post, MashaAllah. Sometimes its hard to not lose the essence of who we are and like you said 'forgetting that Islam is different from culture'

  2. wassalamu alaykum

    jazakillahu khairan sis.
    This is something I have thought for years, and I am glad it makes sense since English is not my first language. Alhamdulillah.

  3. Assalamu alaikum
    ,are this your own words,very nice post,english is also not my language,but i understand what you mean.i am born muslim but recently started to practice,and i am learning more each day.all of these muslimah blogs are very helpful,like yours. looking forward to read more!

  4. wassalamu alaykum

    yes I only post my own writings, I try to be careful not to contradict the Qur'aan or the sunnah always and don't put my opinions on front of them inshaAllah.May Allah let your new journey to Islam be blessed and joyous!

  5. eyes serene sorry I accidetally rejected your comment, I am totally failure with blogger it seems lol. Yes sis imagine even the Prophet sallaAllahu alayhi wa sallam did have a good laugh every once in a while mashaAllah

    (Narrated Aisha, Ummul Mu'minin: When the Apostle of Allah arrived after the expedition to Tabuk or Khaybar (the narrator is doubtful), the draught raised an end of a curtain which was hung in front of her store-room, revealing some dolls which belonged to her.

    He asked: What is this? She replied: My dolls. Among them he saw a horse with wings made of rags, and asked: What is this I see among them? She replied: A horse. He asked: What is this that it has on it? She replied: Two wings. He asked: A horse with two wings? She replied: Have you not heard that Solomon had horses with wings? She said: Thereupon the Apostle of Allah laughed so heartily that I could see his molar teeth. [Sunan Abu Dawood, Vol. 3, #4914])

    I think if there is something too little in this world it is caring, loving and sincere laughter and smile coming from joy and happiness.
    And don't you just love to be wih the people who openly laugh and smile and come to you on a natural way! MashaAllah.

  6. Asalamu alaikum,thank you sister for your nice wishes,i wish you too all the best!

  7. That was a beautiful post :).

  8. Sis this is a beautiful post masha'allah and it said everything i needed to hear!

  9. Great post, as a revert myself this relates to me, keep up the gd work

    ps stop by my page and take a look at my posts if you have the time, if you enjoy my page be sure to tell others.


  10. No matter how hard the road, Allah knows best and we are always sent to where we're meant to be. After a long day I needed to read this and somehow I came. Alhamdulillah.

    Thank you.

  11. ^thank you. You reminded me today that I DO blog for a reason. My Allah ease your affairs and guide you to all what is best for your deen and you. Amin allahumma salli ala muhammadin amin.


Salaamu alaykum&Hi,
I turned the comment moderation on because I have totally missed some of the comments and I don't want that happen anymore inshaAllah.